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December 2005In this Issue: |
A client brought up something very important to him on our coaching call. He wanted more than just sliding through the holidays on a speedy sled of Christmas chatter and excitement. He wanted some holy time during the upcoming holidays. So I challenged him. He accepted. I know one man who will embrace silence. He will shut off his flat screens, close his self-help books, unplug his phones, speak and listen to no one; he will be thankful for, and forget about, all the external support he receives in his life, and he will be with him self in silence till noon on his designated day—a simple and profound next right action for the holidays. May you also find some holy time during the next couple of weeks. Blessings of peace and inner purpose, Sean Casey Leclaire If you'd like to share this issue with a friend, they can view the newsletter online at http://www.seanleclaire.com/ezine/. If you'd prefer not to receive future issues of Be The Change, click the Unsubscribe link at the bottom of this message. MINDThe battles we have with our tendencies speak of dreams yet to become real. What habit do I battle most? Abandonment, the perception of abandonment and, along with this perception come the cold sting of perceived rejection and the hot fires of imagined betrayal. Yes. Mind-based experiences of a separate self not immersed in the one reality many call the Self. I have my moments and I do not know anyone yet, who doesn’t. On Monday morning I mediated. Throughout the day my mind was calm and creative. I spoke to few people. I wrote. I went for a walk in the woods, crunched snow. I listened to birds. I sat within winter silence. I returned and coached one client. We meditated on the call. He went deeper than he has ever gone. He opened to the Self. We completed our call. I cooked dinner. I read a chapter of the Shiva sutras. I contemplated the sutra for some time then, I meditated again. Powerful, bliss-filled sensations flooded my body. Then stillness and the timer rang after an hour. I went to bed. As I lay on my back, with sleep upon me, I became aware of a powerful contraction in my pelvis that rose, rippled up the front of my spine then, something in my chest cracked. Such terror arose, bone-rattling, belly-gasping sobs, deep grief. My spine shook, for minutes, like a green garden hose whipping about a lawn. I gasped, heard myself pleading with Jesus, saying his name, in between the gasps for breath, I felt a tearing loss in my body. My mind began a tendency... That my beloved companion would leave me. Actually, lying in bed in that moment, it felt like she was leaving me. I was sure of it. My mind had its “evidence.” My gal was away studying with a teacher of ours... A teacher who was upset with me, because of the way I had challenged her perceptions about leadership a few days earlier. In an email exchange, the teacher said to me “maybe I’ll invite her to stay,” referring to my companion and the teacher inviting my companion to stay on, and serve the teacher’s foundation. A provocative comment, because the teacher is well aware that I can have trouble with abandonment perceptions and that they can come up when my companion travels for her work as a yoga teacher. Presently, I am studying the Bhagavad Gita sloka 2.60, 2.61, 2.62, in a wonderful group led by that same teacher, a most gifted individual. These teachings explain how the mind works. Here’s what I learned from my experience laying in bed Monday night. My mind started thinking about objects. The objects were two thoughts: That the teacher would say something unfavorable about me to my partner and then my partner would abandon me. An attachment arose. I want to spend my life with my companion. In those difficult minutes lying in my bed, I was dependent on my companion staying with me for my happiness. With attachment comes desire. The desire was that I desperately needed to call my companion and be re-assured that she loved me. (I did not do that.) Anger then arose simultaneously with the sobbing. Then, more terror and this led to delusion. The deluded thought: That my partner doesn’t want to be with me really. The delusion led to loss of memory of the Self, and with that, my ability to choose. I rode waves of emotion, unable to choose to stop but I did choose to stay present in the storm. And in doing so, I sense that I am freeing myself of the addictive aspect of my genuine journey in loving and committed relationship with my companion. In chapter 2 of the Gita, Krishna explains how the mind works: we think of objects like people, places, things, ideas, and/or thoughts. Attachment then arises and leads to desire. Unfilled, and often even fulfilled desires, lead to anger. Anger leads to delusion and delusion leads to loss of memory of the Self. And loss of memory of Self (Infinite Wholeness) renders one addicted, without choice, powerless. I am grateful for the personality of the teacher, whose comment triggered my original wound of abandonment. In my case, being given up for adoption the day I was born. (Perhaps, that was what was clearing in the pelvis that evening, who knows, doesn’t matter, just energy.) I am grateful for my companion who loves and respects me. I am grateful to the Self, which according to the mystical texts I have read/studied from many traditions, has contracted down to be me, (and you) in our limited perception of individual reality. This experience has shown me that maybe it’s time to take a look at the Guru. Apparently, the Guru is a living vessel of the Self. Jesus has always been my Master, and he will remain so, but as the yogis like to say, dead masters don’t kick ass. The teachers I study with are not enlightened, further along the spectrum of consciousness, but definitely not enlightened. I have much to learn. I love the teacher I spoke of in this essay and she does infuriate me at times, like real teachers tend to do, as any genuine relationship with another absolutely will. Why do I share this intimate experience with you? I share it because as a life coach and an awareness teacher, I get to see how we all struggle with habits of attention, with fear. And I see how many of us so want to know the Self, to enter the mystery, to sink into the infinite wholeness of Now. I also see that the darkness around us is deep. And I believe that people who are waking up must speak and share with each other, honestly and fearlessly. The opening sentence in this essay alludes to an observation that the battles we have with our tendencies speak of dreams yet to become real. The dream becoming real for me is the ongoing process of awakening and a deepening dance with a wonderful companion; and, yes, the mental habit or tendency that I battle with most still gets me once in awhile. What about you?BODY-CENTERED BREAKS (BCBs)The Body-Centered Break is a body-focused inquiry and awareness meditation lasting only two minutes and done whenever and wherever you are in your day. Benefits as described by coaching clients include: calmness of mind, overall sense of well-being, sharpened mental focus, reduced anxiety, increased ability of autonomous nervous system to recover rapidly from stress, and an increased capacity for learning. CLICK here for an audio-guided BCB at any time you feel the need to slow down and center into yourself. Enjoy the Benefits NOW! HeadRest Radiate QuietMind SteamValve SHARED WISDOM "We wouldn’t be brought to it, if we couldn’t shine through it." POEMLaughing Angels Imagine an angel I don’t think so. Instead imagine me What if God What if those angels What if my job Yep, they would like that. INQUIRYWhat dream am I afraid to live into? WONDERINGWhat if God did write my business plan? How would I have to change?EVENTS AND WORKSHOPS
Living Life on Purpose |
Men's Meditation and Mindfulness Group
© 2005 Sean Casey Leclaire, all rights reserved. |
